I hate the internet sometimes. I totally had this super long blog post all typed up and I was editing a few things and adding a few links and *POOF*!!!! It was gone. Like the food in my house when there’s a hungry tweenaged boy around, it was all gone… I hate it when I’m incompetent. I know it was my fault and not the internet, but I need a scape goat and the internet looks like a damn goat to me. Don’t ask.
So in the college front, Squally here isn’t doing so awesome. I’m getting my things done and turned in but I’ve missed two assignments so far, one in each class. And I’m not so great at writing. Who knew?! And did you know that there’s a freaking text book on writing poems? Yeah. Apparently rhyming is tougher than I thought. Seriously though, there is a lot of information about poems and what constitutes a poem and different types of poems and holy cow do I really not like poems much right now. Not even going to tell you about the essays I have in the other class… Oy!!!
So, instead of working on those essays, I’m typing here. I just have so much on my mind and it’s terrifying. Last weekend we went to Rockstar’s cousin’s wedding. It was outdoors and I wore heels. Yay for twisted ankles! But I had to pack for me and Spawn, and Rockstar wanted to leave by a certain time and I totally was not ready and you know, we still made it in time. Before his parents got there even, and they stayed overnight at a hotel near the park where the wedding was! I digress… I took a few xanax to help me deal. I was surrounded by Rockstar’s family, and many of his uncles are roofers. So… When the party got going, around 3 or 4, you can imagine the atmosphere. Two words: FREE BAR. So while Rockstar mingled with his family and caught up with cousins and his mom took Spawn around to show off her “grandson”, I hung out at a table in the corner of the dining hall and watched people move around, writing in my notebook (figured I’d look like an ass if I took out my ipad and keyboard, which I totally had with me in my purse). At one point Rockstar’s dad came up with one of his 8 or 9 brothers (10?) and introduced him to me, but I couldn’t really understand him. Nice guy, but yeah… Free flowing beer and booze, loud music, and lots of people don’t make for a nice quiet conversational atmosphere. Anyway, we stayed at a motel with horrible beds and I still can feel the springs digging into my sides when I tried to sleep… Ow… We’ve been home for two days… So I did survive… I thank Xanax, Goddess of Calming, and Gin and Tonic, Brothers of Keeping Rockstar Company (so he wouldn’t get mad at me for “acting” like a total dumbass).
This weekend is the annual women’s weekend for my mom’s family. My grandmother, aunts, and cousins get together every October and celebrate the life and love that my great grandmother had. She passed away a couple days after my 2nd (3rd?) birthday. So it’s a tradition, to celebrate sisterhood. And buttons. Can’t forget the buttons. I’ve been going to this weekend thingy for a few years now, and it’s always an interesting time. One of the first years I’ve gone on this trip, we went out to eat at a really nice sports bar and restaurant. There’s maybe 20 of us, give or take, so we’re a huge group of loudly laughing women. Now, 20 women walk into a sports bar and resturant, you’d think, whoa, big group!
Then those 20 women PUT GOOGLY GLITTERLY BALLS ON THEIR HEADS.
Yes, we all wore those on our heads, for the entire meal. I don’t have any picture proof myself, but I do know that there are some out there, somewhere. And every year, we give little gifts and things to eachother. My grandmother and one of my aunts makes quilts. So we’ve gotten little lap quilts. But, the best gift that I remember are the pasties that my aunt and her daughters gave us all, as a reminder that October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. Yes, I have pasties. No, I will not show you. But, in case you wanted to know just exactly where my crazy comes from, I totally insist that you come with me this weekend. Chances are it’ll be a little more low key this year, as we’re not going to the cities like we generally do, but I still bet some sort of shenanigans will be going on. I probably won’t get into too much trouble this year since I’m fairly reclusive and actually do have midterm papers to work on this weekend and turn in on Monday. I’ll be bringing along my old Asus and typing away…
My deleted post also contained a bit about my fun time with depression and anxiety. Things I do to try to ground myself back down to earth when all I want to do is run, and things I do to pick myself up when all I want to do is hide under the covers. Maybe I’ll rewrite it sometime. Maybe I’ll really let you all see what’s under the mask that I wear. Maybe that way you’ll be able to handle it and help instead of not being able to and making things worse. (Metaphorically speaking, not just about me here, but about every person out there who suffers with depression and anxiety.) Maybe I’ll get the courage to post it anyway…
Right now, however, I’m going to go and snuggle with my Figgy Kitty and watch silly youtube videos.