In over my head…

Ok.  I’m just one person.  

In my family life, things are good.  I’m a single mom, yes, but I have a wonderful mom (hi, Mugs) and dad who help when I need help with Spawn.  I have a fantastic quasi-hubby who is looking forward to baseball games and getting Spawn to mow the lawn.  And my ex hubby is always there to help and support the kiddo too.  So don’t think it’s because of my family when I say I’m going crazy…  Tho Spawn’s grades aren’t all they can be…  But I can’t judge…  

I’m just one person.  

But, at my job, I’m doing the work of three people.  Yes, I slack off now and then, because if I didn’t, I would literally burn out.  Name me one person who doesn’t slack off now and then at their job, and I’ll show you a person with no imagination…  Doing all the traffic and billing, and all the commercial programming for six stations, plus general secretary work and managing the office, plus acting as personal assistants to each sales rep.  It’s no wonder I get headaches each day or why my ass is so big…  *sigh*

This is why I’m crazy…

One person, doing the job of three.  

I hate daylight savings time.  I’m seriously all sorts of messed up, and I don’t understand why.  I go to sleep around 10:30 or 11, I’m tired as hell, and I lay there WIDE AWAKE.  Because why not?  I’ve gone to sleep somewhere around 2 am each night this week.  Wake up late at 7:15 and try to push Spawn out the door to get to school on time by 8:10.  So I literally have the sleep pattern of a college kid during finals.

One person, doing the job of three, with the sleep pattern of a college kid during finals.  Yep…

Oh, and toss in the fact that I can’t focus on anything!  You wouldn’t believe how long it’s taken me to type this out.  Seriously.  This isn’t a long entry.  But it’s taken me about an hour to do it… 

I’m just one person, who does the job of three, has the sleeping habits of a college freshman, and the attention span of a 4 year old in Toys R Us.

So is it any wonder that I’m failing my math class?  Or why I can’t think long enough to type up an essay every week?  I only have two classes.  Hell, my “remedial” math class doesn’t even count!  (Who puts a new Adult student who hasn’t had a math class in 15 plus years into a Geometry class and say it’s remedial?)

I just realized that I never actually mentioned that I don’t “go” to college; I’m an online student.  I have to technically teach myself.  My English prof is a great guy, and he senses when I’m not keeping up, but my math prof isn’t.  I’m kind of thinking she gave up on our online class because all but 4 of us have dropped it…  

I think it would be better if I could take only one class a semester.  At least until I get my act together.  

Who knows how long that would be tho…

And do they even let you be a part time student by only taking one class a semester?  Is there a minimum credit limit?  

My head hurts.

What’s cool though is that I have an open window in my office right now.  It’s nice to have been moved to a cell with a window.  The view isn’t much, but it’s ok…  Reminds me that there is life outside this office…

Well, shoot…  Went from My Little Ponies to Strawberry Shortcake, didn’t I?  Guess that means I should just stop now and wait until I can be released for the night…

And head into my personal online hell of obtuse triangles and strange theorems, and analytical essays about online learning and the differences between online and book resources…

What was I thinking?!

And 2 classes bite the dust…

Ok, I couldn’t handle it.  Four classes was just too much for me to handle.  I tried, for two weeks, and I freaked out.  My boys were probably going to strangle me, I tell ya.  Rockstar had to calm me down on more than one occassion, and Spawn will probably never go to college now because I’ve scared him.

But, I dropped two classes, and went to part time.  I’m hoping it will be easier.  At least on my mind.  I’ve seriously lost my mind trying to keep everything straight.

I thought Rockstar and Spawn would be upset with me for dropping two classes, but they were actually cool with it. I thought I was letting them down, and they both said they were proud of me anyway, and Rockstar thought I took too many classes anyway, and is actually happy that I dropped them.

So, next semester, if I can pass my remedial math class (because I haven’t been in school in 15 years!), I’m taking my next math class and my business class.  And, if I think maybe I can get the hang of it, another english class.  But no more than three…  Because any more, and I will lose my mind.

Sorry if this post is kind of all over the mark, but I’m tired, my mind is fried, and I’m just in the mood for a cocktail.